I forgot to say that my friend found out her BIRTH mom (not her real mother) did not want children (I just put "mom" and her birth mom is NOT her mom). To me, my girls' first mother is the birth mother. Again, it is what it is.
As for not grappling with my thoughts about Noelle's and Emma's birth mothers, I do grapple ALL the time with my girls and their lives and what this fact will mean for them all the days of their lives. Emma still will not "go there" and I think it is time we got it totally out in the open...that there is a woman in Vietnam who gave birth to her. There IS another "mom." It is too painful for Emma and that totally breaks my heart for her. She knows she was born in Vietnam and is adopted, but she has not once asked about her birth mother even though I have tried to get her to open up. :(
All of this adoptive parent stuff sounded so easy in theory and in all the classes we took. When you fall in love with your child/children, it becomes unbelievably unbearable to know the pain that your children will experience - a horrible loss for them which I cannot even imagine.
So, I do not take this lightly. FYI.
Just have faith that the love they get from you and Wayne will help to minimize the loss they may feel down the road before they joined their forever family.
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