Eyes Wide Open

Wayne and I decided to adopt because we wanted to be parents, we wanted to know that great love that only a parent feels for their child.  I was around 40 when I first started thinking of adoption and never felt a desire to give birth, so that wasn't even an option we looked at.  We just started out with the adoption process.  Now we are parents to beautiful Emma from Vietnam and soon-to-be-parents of equally beautiful Noelle from China. 

I didn't realize just how complex the issue of adoption was until I had fallen head over heels in love with this little girl who just now starting to piece the puzzle together and I have to look this precious child in the eyes while she asks me heartbreaking questions about her beginnings. 

Being an adoptive parent ain't for sissies and you have to go in with your eyes wide open.  I tend to worry about the what if's and the future too much now that I am a mother.  Wondering what these girls will think when they are older about being adopted.  Will they be angry?  Will they ever be happy?

I questioned another adoptive mom on this and she said something so profound and wise, which she does so often:  "I don't know if my daughter will be angry when she comes of age, but for right now, I am going to love her and enjoy the years as they come and do as much as I can to be open and honest with her and IF she becomes an angry young woman, I'll deal with that when/if it happens." 

So wise....and you know who you are.  :D

Just the tip of the iceberg reading articles like this but it kind of shows you the depth of feelings that adoptees have regarding the "primal wound."
http://www.declassifiedadoptee.com/2012/01/huntsmans-failure-to-defend-his.html

Noelle will have spent her whole life in an orphanage (she is 19 months of age now).  When we adopted Emma she was just shy of 8 months old.   Both girls spent their first 2 years of life very differently but the first days of their lives were the same and that hurt down deep inside of them will be the same.