Torn 2 Ways

Two little girls sleeping right now - an hour or two to take a breather.  Emma is really wanting my attention now with Noelle which I knew would be the case.  Noelle is a bit of a daddy's girl but I am unsure if that is because she is attaching more to him just because or if it has something to do with Emma being with me.  Emma is being so sweet, but honestly I think it is feisty little Noelle who is having the sibling rivalry stuff going already.  lol  Noey is not really a total feisty personality but somewhat.  I bet it has everything to do with her growing up the last 19 months fighting for attention in the orphanage.

Noelle is so quiet.  We have yet to get any real smiles out of her - "almost" smiles is about it.  Wayne and Emma said she did smile for them once this morning when I was in the shower - she was taking off her headband and handing it to them and they would put it back on her and she would keep taking it off.  She is SO much like her sister in that respect - already not letting me do anything with her hair!  ;D

Noelle obviously was somewhat attached to the nanny who brought her in from the orphanage.  She did cry when I took her and cried again when the nanny brushed her cheek and walked out the door.  However, not a lot.  Noelle is taking it all in - a lot like Emma in that respect also - she just watches everything and people and is very quiet and you can see the wheels turning in her mind.  Some of the orphanage kids are running around all over -happy and playful and will go to anyone and others are already attaching and cry when handed to someone else - Noelle has cried when I have taken her from Wayne a few times but then when I start to soothe her she is okay.  It is kind of embarrassing in front of everyone to have your child want their father more than you but I totally understand it - we have had classes on this very thing.  We will not let anyone else hold her so we have no idea if she would go to someone else or not.  Noey is not very friendly with Emma and it makes me sad for Emma - I was afraid of that scenario and how do you explain it to a 4-year-old?

We are as of this morning officially Noelle's parents!! Legally I should say!  Wayne is going out shopping with the group in a few minutes and I am going to stay here with the girls.  I am tired of running around and Noelle needs some down time with us.  Tomorrow morning we are going to an aquarium with our kids.  The day after I think Wayne and I and the girls are going to hire a driver/interpreter to take us to Noelle's orphanage which is almost 3 hours one day!  I think if we don't go visit the orphanage we will kick ourselves and we need to know if there is a nanny/nannies who will cry over Noelle  - if anyone loved her more than the normal nanny/child relationship.  It will be a long and arduous day - the day before we board another plane to head to Guangzhou in way south China - near Hong Kong.

It is warm here but will be way warm down south.   I will probably risk the consternation of the Chinese mamas who scold you if you don't have your child dressed warm enough.  They way overdress their children here.

The pollution is just atrocious (horrible - indescribable) and oh how I yearn for a fresh, crisp salad  bar and American food!  Chinese made Chinese food is just not my cup of tea.  I want American-Chinese food again.  And as someone had told me there is cigarette smoke everywhere here - the crap we are breathing into our lungs is scary!

All this said, I am not totally ready to leave China quite yet! :D

Noelle is so small, Nicole, but dense!  She is heavy!  I am not sure how much she weighs but Emma is 26 pounds and she almost feels lighter to carry to me.  Noelle is a pudge!  Her little legs are so fat and cute!!  Rolls and rolls.  Emma is long and lean and I think Noelle will be more on the shorter/stockier Asian build side.  Noey is adorable.  I just still want to see her smile.  I will post photos when that happens.  She already is starting to lighten up a bit as of this morning and is being more playful with us. 

It still is unreal that I now am a mom to 2 and it is daunting - how to give them equal attention, equal love, equal time, equal discipline,  equal everything!!

Oh and the red dot on Noelle's forehead is a "love dot" of sorts - her nanny put a red mark that our guide told us means "pretty girl, good luck, best wishes for a happy life."  How sweet is that?  No other children had that done to them so I am hoping against hope that there was a nanny who loved Noelle very much.

As for the Wal-Mart - wild!!!  They have split pants here - those of you who haven't heard of this, there is an actual split in a child's pants so they can squat and do their business anywhere and I mean anywhere!!  We watched as a little toddler boy squatted and peed all over the floor in Wal-Mart and his family just kept on a-shoppin'.  LOL  We aren't in Kansas anymore let's put it that way.

Another observation - ALL the young girls in China are gorgeous and they are SO stylish here - European stylish. 

Gotta go - thank you everyone for your comments and most of all your prayers and good wishes and for welcoming this little girl into all of our lives!  She is a gift from God to all of us and Wayne and I are just her lucky caretakers who will try to guide her through life to become who she is meant to be.  WE are the blessed ones and lucky ones.

I hope all is okay on your side of the world!!  We miss the states but this is quite an adventure I must say - oh and the Chinese people are truly wonderful people overall and we have a darling little girl to prove it. 

                                                                     Bed heads!!

Our little Noey - for now/here we will let her sleep in ghe cib but at home we want to start rocking her to sleep and she will sleep in the bed with us.  She doesn't know how to be cuddled and rocked and sung to, so we will have some "work" to do - if you can call it that.  There is nothing I love more than rocking a baby!  Just like my Mom!!

Getting ready to go to the adoption ceremony this morning.  As you can see many of the kids just run around and are very social with anyone - their parents have some attachment work to do I think.  They are all so cute - there is an albino little boy, Luke - his parents are young and I admire them so - what wonderful people - they have other bio children.  I think most of the people with us are Christian.  There are some other special needs children - one cleft palate, one deformed ear and extra thumb, etc.  All adorable and SO loved!!!

She is ours, but God's first.  :D

Emma is chewing on my hair - her way of feeling safe - holding onto my hair or chewing on it!  She has always done this since a baby.  :D