First Things First

P.S.  Writing this morning of 03/08 - the sidewalk art above was not done by Emma obviously.  FYI.  :D  Also another thing I wanted to say regarding adoption is that it is about the yin and the yang.  There is "finding" of a new life, a new mama and dada by these children, BUT there is also loss, great loss on their part and not the first time they have experienced this.  They have a "primal wound" that will never heal.  We as the adoptive parents need to be sensitive to this in our relationship with our child and help them to understand and deal with the hand they were dealt when their life started on this planet.  Openness and communication are key as well as unconditional love.  I have said this over and over regarding Emma (and now Noelle) - I never want them to feel sorry for themselves.  They can be sad, they can grieve, heck they can even be mad as Hades at times, but self pity will not be tolerated.  Self pity leads to bitterness and unhappiness.   Wayne and I will do our best and leave the rest to God.   It's all we can do.
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This was typed in the wee hours of the morning last night:

On an earlier post I was talking about my dreams of what/who Noelle will become.   However, first things first!  In the next several months we will be settling in with Noelle and helping her to adjust, to bond and attach to each one of us.  There is another family that is in China currently - they adopted the most beautiful little girl but this little one is grieving something awful.  She will not stop wailing and trying to find the way back to her former life, her former caretakers.  She is attaching as she is going through the grieving process but this scenario is common in the adoption community when a child is literally torn from one set of loving arms to be placed in another and of course, this is not the first time it has happened to them.  Think about that one.  It breaks your heart for these children.  These kids can also be spitting mad at the first person (adoptive parent) who takes them into their arms - for taking them away from the life they knew and a loved one they cared for.   There are lots of scenarios that take place in the first few days after the child is placed in your arms.  Bottom line, it is not always a Hallmark moment.  Emma cried during the night for weeks and I swear her pupils were dilated with fear about that long also - she was very stoic during the day but at night a different story....Wayne and I were exhausted those first several weeks.

We don't  know how Noelle will react to us and to the situation.  She has been in the orphanage for almost every hour of her life.  I have to say that I am a bit concerned from looking at the 6 photos we have received of Noelle.  She does not look happy, she looks kind of "distant."  The write-up on her by the orphanage describes her as loving, giving, caring and happy with a smile "all the time."  Huh?  I don't see that in any of the photos we have received.  I see a very unhappy, lonely child.  But she looks healthy and she is beautiful with a thick shock of black hair - so different from Emma's hair which is so thin and is taking it's dear sweet time to grow.  lol

BUT photos can be deceiving for sure.  We have no idea what Noelle will be like and even though we have been told her situation in the orphanage, do we "really" know?  Does anybody who adopts a child really know what went on in the orphanage, in the foster home, if they attached with anyone, etc.?  

Tonight we bought a new car seat that Emma will use and Noelle will get her old car seat - a Britax - not a shabby hand-me-down by any means!  ;D  We bought a high end Graco for Emma - with cup holders!  She likes that.  It has very wide sides on it - crash tested and supposedly very strong.  We will have to put the girls on either side of the back seat now and that really freaks me out.  They will seem so vulnerable and that is why we tried to get the very best car seats that we could find.  These are the times you wish you had money - to buy a Humvee to drive these girls around in!

Two weeks from tonight....we will be in the air on a United Airlines jet heading to the "Far East" to a little girl whose life will soon be turned topsy-turvy.   Oh my.  Bless her heart.